Coaching is a core part of a manager’s role. Yet, with work demands, tight deadlines, constant change and pressure to deliver, coaching often gets squeezed out. Even well-meaning managers struggle to make it part of their day-to-day work.
If managers are not coaching, people are not growing and performance eventually stalls. In a changing environment, this impacts results and motivation.
At its heart, coaching is about enabling someone to build awareness and take action to progress, improve how they work and achieve better outcomes. It lifts short-term performance and enables long-term growth. It also makes people feel recognised, supported and motivated.
Working with managers, we frequently see how hard coaching can be in practice. Below are some common challenges and what can help.
“I don’t have time and I need results now.”
The challenge: Coaching can feel like a luxury that gets pushed aside by urgent work.
What helps: Coaching does not need to be a separate activity or a long, formal conversation. It works best in everyday moments: a quick debrief, a pause before a task or a check-in during a one-to-one. Even a few minutes of thoughtful questioning or feedback can help someone reflect and grow.
Link coaching to daily performance. If a team member needs to influence a stakeholder or lead a meeting more effectively, use that as the basis for coaching. Help them to focus on what they are trying to do, what is working or not working and what they could try instead.
“How do I know when to coach versus when to step in?”
The challenge: It is easy to fall into problem-solving, so knowing when to coach and when to direct can feel unclear.
What helps: Shift gears depending on the goal. If the task is urgent and unfamiliar, direct. If the goal is development, such as growing their confidence, stretching their thinking or building ownership, then coaching is required.
Resist jumping in with advice. Instead ask: “What options have you considered?” or “What’s your next step?”. Your role is to create space for thinking, not provide answers.
Be clear about ownership. The team member should identify the issue, explore options and choose a way forward. Your role is to support that process, not to steer it.
“I don’t know how to coach and I don’t want to do it badly.”
The challenge: Without training, the right tools or experience, coaching can feel awkward.
What helps: Start with curiosity, keep it simple and ask short, open-ended questions: “What’s important here?”, “What’s getting in the way?”, “What do you want to try?.”
Avoid “why” questions as they can make people defensive. Forward-focused questions work better such as “How do you want your meetings to run? What do you need to do differently for that to happen?”.
Simple frameworks like GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Way forward) can give shape to a conversation. Try to identify what the person wants to develop. For example, it could be greater impact, more influence or organising work more effectively. You can ask: “What do you want to get better at?” or “What do you want to be known for?”.
Check with your HR team if they have any development guides to enhance key behaviours. These guides can be very helpful. They typically include targeted questions to support coaching discussions and employee self-reflection, as well as practical ideas for on-the-job training and relevant stretch assignments to embed the desired behaviours in day-to-day work.
“My team member doesn’t seem interested.”
The challenge: Some people are hard to engage. They do not open up, seem resistant to feedback or just want to be told what to do.
What helps: Start by building trust. Understand what matters to them and what may be making things hard for them. Sometimes people need time; other times they need to see how coaching can help them.
If someone is struggling, use open-ended coaching questions to explore what is behind it. Is it a skills gap? A mindset issue? A motivation dip? Each needs a different response. If progress is limited, talk to others who work closely with them to build a fuller picture.
Coaching requires willingness and ownership. If that is missing, explore what may be getting in the way or whether another approach is needed.
“I don’t want to upset them with negative feedback.”
The challenge: Developmental feedback can feel risky and uncomfortable.Managers often worry about damaging relationships or morale.
What helps: You can be honest and supportive. Focus on what you have observed and the impact it had. “When you did X, I noticed Y and here is what that meant for the team/client/stakeholder.”
Coach around the feedback: “What worked well?”, “What would you do differently?”. This encourages self-reflection and helps people take ownership of their own development.
Prepare, choose the right moment, be clear about your intent and link the conversation to something the person cares about. If you frame the feedback as a way to help them succeed, they are more likely to engage with it.
Make sure you offer both positive and developmental feedback over time. It is important to recognise, point out and praise when something is done well. Be specific so people know what to repeat. Build on people’s strengths and use them to help individuals stretch further and progress.
“We talk about development, but then nothing happens.”
The challenge: Without follow-up, development stalls.
What helps: Make development part of your regular conversations. Help your team member to set clear development goals, check progress and ask what support is needed. Celebrate small wins and encourage reflection: “What did you learn from that?”, “What’s the next step?”.
Help people turn insight into action. What will they try or do differently? Prioritise one or two development areas at a time.
Development requires experimentation, trying new behaviours in a safe environment, seeing what works and adjusting. Your role is to support that cycle and provide the right learning opportunities.
Small daily actions can have a lasting impact.
You do not need to be a perfect coach. Show up consistently, stay curious, ask questions and give people space to think. Short, thoughtful coaching moments can make a real difference.
At Pave the Way, we enable managers to become better coaches by equipping them with practical tools and simple frameworks, from effective questioning techniques to targeted development guides that support meaningful coaching conversations, better day-to-day execution and stronger results.
